Pilot Review: 24: Legacy

24: Legacy (FOX)
Premiered February 5 at 10:30pm

I’m not sure whether to classify this is a pilot or a season premiere, but, sadly, it’s a shadow of a once-great thriller and therefore should be considered as part of that original show. Granted, it’s not as bad as “Heroes Reborn,” partially because “Heroes” was never as good as “24” was in its first season, but it doesn’t have much to recommend it. Now, I should note that the first season of “24” was incredible, seasons two through four were pretty good, and everything after that was absolute garbage which pretty much defines jumping the shark, over and over and over again. What we have here is an attempt to reboot a show that signed off long after it stopped being engaging, and it’s back without its best asset, Kiefer Sutherland, love him or hate him. The real-time aspect is cool, sure, but when it’s a truncated twelve-season episode that doesn’t actually chronicle a day, the appeal is reduced considerably. The bigger problem is that the story is far from intelligent, and it’s only thrilling because there are people running around with guns and the music is fast-paced. We’ve gone from Jack Bauer insisting that people had to trust him to Corey Hawkins’ Eric Carter deciding that he’s the only one who can trust. In such an insular world, it’s hard to get attached to anyone. There are a few familiar faces in the cast, like Miranda Otto playing a somewhat similar role to the one she played on “Homeland” last year, Jimmy Smits, Dan Bucatinsky, and Teddy Sears. I think it’s probably better than I don’t start watching this show, but given my initial enthusiasm for “24,” I’m going to give it at least one more hour.

How will it work as a series? Just in this first episode, there have been at least a dozen people executed for no reason, which doesn’t make this storyline inviting, we have a poor student-teacher-terrorist plotline, and Otto’s Rebecca essentially did the same thing to the head of CTU that Jack did in the first-ever hour of the original show. That doesn’t suggest much potential for strength and quality in the future.
How long will it last? The reviews aren’t great, but that’s partially because I don’t think anyone was really clamoring for a reboot of this show after it went off the air less than a decade ago. Sutherland’s absence doesn’t help. Scoring the headline “lowest-rated post-Super Bowl debut in years” doesn’t recommend its enduring nature, and performing equally unimpressively in its time slot premiere in episode two is bad news too. Twelve episodes will be all this show gets.

Pilot grade: D

What I’m Watching: 24 (Season Finale)

24: Season 9, Episode 12 “Day 9: 10pm-11am” (F)

It’s hard to know if this should be termed a season finale or a series finale since this show signed off a while ago only to emerge again. What this finale did is it cheated, skipping ahead twelve hours to a convenient point in time when funeral arrangements were all too hastily prepared and events conveniently took place over the span of just a few minutes. Dissecting this admittedly terrible finale isn’t an easy task, since it’s puzzling to decipher just what the point of it all is. The absurd speed at which things happen, like Kate managing to track Audrey down in minutes despite having no clue where she was before dillydallying rather than taking action, ultimately leading to Audrey getting fatally shot. You’d think that more caution would be exercised, but that hardly seems wise since Jack appears to be destined for eternal misery. As if his holding a sword to Cheng’s neck to get him to admit his name (which hardly seems necessary when facial recognition has already confirmed his identity) while on camera with the president wasn’t brazen enough, Jack had to go ahead and slice his head off, both sparing Cheng of the punishment he might endure in prison and ensuring that he could be prosecuted for a crime that he most obviously committed. Jack turning himself over to the Russians in exchange for Chloe is an even bleaker resolution, hardly fitting of comparison to the way the show ended, with Jack going on the run, or even how previous seasons finished, like Jack faking his death or being captured by the Chinese. This show could well return, and I’d certainly hope for a more coherent, optimistic effort next time. This wasn’t worth it.

Season grade: D
Season MVP: Yvonne Strahovski as Kate

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 11 “Day 9: 9:00pm-10:00pm” (D-)

It’s hard to believe how we got here, with two presidents on the phone with each other trying to stop a war that’s already begun from starting and Jack doing whatever he feels like in search of some impossible solution that will resolve this whole conflict. It turns out that the Russians ambushing Jack and Kate as they were about to close in on Chloe wasn’t a coincidence, and that Anatol is working directly with Cheng to create world conflict that the two can spin to their advantage. It would seem logical, therefore, for Anatol to have warned Cheng that Jack was in London and so close to tracking him. Instead, it was possible for Jack to immediately uncover another would-be traitor’s identity thanks to his uncovered trail and all of a sudden a fully cooperative Mark was on the way to Anatol’s private residence, an address known to the chief of staff who didn’t realize he was a criminal, even though Jack thought that was completely obvious. Mark, an inconsequential character, came out with barely a scratch, while the potentially useful person, Anatol, ended up dead pretty much at Mark’s hands. Now, Cheng managed to be on the run and keep a close eye on Audrey, enough to take out all her kids and position himself for some terrific revenge on Jack. What was just hours ago a global conflict and might still be one has now transformed into a fully personal vendetta, which, if nothing else, ties this show together by harking back to the great days of season one when an assassination attempt on a presidential candidate and lone CTU agent was all about personal payback. Those were the days…

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 10 “Day 9: 8:00pm-9:00pm” (D-)

The only way I can think to describe this episode is as a cacophony of covert information from different countries and governments being unbelievably accessible to far too many sources. The wisdom behind Mark giving the Russians Jack’s location is impossible to decipher, mainly because, however forgetful he may be, Heller would never forget that he wouldn’t have signed Jack over to doom, and Audrey wouldn’t let him forget it either. Leaving panicked voicemails for his contact was probably the next stupidest thing he could have done, and now he’ll certainly implicate himself in the high number of casualties sure to come. The return of Cheng was a thoroughly unnecessary development, mainly because it makes this universe seem too small and outrageous, where terrorists from different nations roam around freely and unsubtly, showing their faces to random people before killing them. Shooting Adrian didn’t make much sense either, however more sensible it might have been than Margot killing Naveed. Now Chloe is back in the middle of everything with the Russians hunting Jack, but not as aggressively as the Chinese would if they knew just how close he was to them. Butchering Navarro’s hand was typical Jack behavior, and it’s good to know that he’s found a partner with equally violent inclinations, eager to seem ready to shoot a man in the head just to scare some information out of him. Tensions are sure to explode now that other things have and a world war is likely on the horizon, and I’m sure the final two episodes of this season will be equally action-packed and preposterous.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 9 “7pm-8pm” (D+)

I’m finding this show to be less and less credible as every hour goes by. A lot was resolved in this hour while newer less compelling plot points were introduced or driven forward. The revelation that Heller didn’t really die was a surprise, though not a terribly positive one considering Margot didn’t bother to confirm that simple fact before downing five of the drones and the fact that we saw things play out in real time, so the chance for Jack to make a recording with Chloe to fool the Al-Harazis seems truly unlikely. What we learned, however, is that life really is a videogame, where you can grab the joystick to divert terror in a ticking time-bomb situation. It’s hard to believe that Jack just casually tossed Ian out the window before much more purposefully grabbing Margot and throwing her out after him. The show seemed to breeze right over that, and instead we’re on to the news that Adrian Cross, who is helping Navarro escape the country, is romantically involved with Chloe. Navarro panicked and went into full-on escapee mode when he realized he would be found out, and let’s hope that his clear complicity will help to clear the record of Kate’s husband. It seems highly ridiculous that Navarro would come up as an associate of Navarro’s in a search right away when he bothered to use Cross as a middleman. I know the clock is ticking, but sometimes things just happen much too quickly on this show.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 8 “6pm-7pm” (C-)

I do feel that time on this show could be better spent than watching Jack track the movements of Secret Service agents in order to smuggle the President away from his security detail to certain death. It also seemed incredibly easy to escape steadfast agents who didn’t even listen to a directive, presuming that Audrey was exempt from the request for Heller not to be disturbed. What really befuddles me is the way in which Margot chose to take out the brave and suicidal President, who was standing on the field presumably expecting at least a face-to-face or a recorded execution, and instead got hit from a drone in a manner that will make it both hard to prove that it was really him and also impossible for Margot to escape prosecution after for this targeted killing. I’m not sure what comes next, particularly because the other threads on this show have become extremely tiring. Audrey and Mark’s relationship drama is of particularly little interest, and so we’ll have to settle for the CIA traitor stuff. Let’s hope Kate is more perceptive than she was with her husband being framed, and that she’s able to honor the life of the unexpectedly resourceful but hilariously panicked late Agent Reed. It all ties in to Chloe in an unfortunate way, and as a result Jack, and I’d prefer a bit less mole-oriented plotting and a much grander theme for the final four episodes of what I truly doubt will be the real final season of this show.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 7 “5:00pm-6:00pm” (C-)

I forgot to address last week’s big reveal about Kate’s husband being set up by Navarro, but fortunately we didn’t have to wait long for that development to progress, with the only solution for Jordan’s curiosity being a top-secret dead drop assignment that was a ploy to get him taken out. In another logical turn, Jordan, an untrained desk agent, managed to outsmart an assassin and hold his breath long enough to survive and outwit his would-be murderer. I’m sure he’ll cause trouble soon, but there are bigger things to worry about, namely Margot using the drones to take out big public places, which is more than just mildly concerning. These drones don’t seem all that useful since the others, despite having been hijacked, weren’t within range to be able to get there in time to assist in Ian’s video game antics. Targeting the car as Jack constantly yanked Simone from vehicle to vehicle was rather idiotic, and something tells me that Margot is much more likely to be discovered taking out half of London trying to keep her daughter quiet than she would be if she just let her spill the beans. Prime Minister Davies didn’t waste any time letting Heller in on what he knows about him, and Heller didn’t try to deny much of anything, and actually gave a relatively impressive performance. Skyping with Margot hardly seemed necessary, and now it looks like he’s ready to sacrifice himself to save innocent lives, which is a whole lot more noble than whatever Mark is going to concoct to save his skin with the Russians.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 6 “4:00pm-5:00pm” (C-)

Continuing on the ridiculousness of last week, I’m not sure whether to start with the Al-Hazari family or the British. Simone, who let her mother cut off her finger only an hour before deciding that it was worth it to punish her husband for his betrayal by killing him, is fine with letting her husband, a man she seems to have loved, if not as much as her mother, die but not able to go through with killing her niece. I think she learned an important lesson that scaring someone into running away without telling them why they’re in danger just doesn’t work, and now she’s been taken out, at least momentarily if not permanently, and the girl who saw her aunt kill her mother is on the loose. Margot, who is now bent on alienating both her children, is soon going to be out of allies and is going to have to pilot those damn drones herself. Moving on to the British, it seems highly implausible that the Prime Minister’s staff would be aware of Heller’s condition and that it wouldn’t have leaked to the public if they were able to find out about it. Sending in a team to follow Jack and then jump to conclusions wouldn’t have been so imbecilic if the entire team hadn’t allowed themselves to be killed, leaving Jack and Kate the only ones standing. Kate proved herself more than capable of being a worthy partner for Jack, agreeing immediately to his crazy plan and then strangling someone with her legs while she was chained up. She should just be thankful that he forgot to start using the drill during that commercial break.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 5 “3:00pm-4:00pm” (C-)

Let’s take a look at the ridiculousness of this episode, starting specifically with the Al-Hazari family storyline. The logic of cutting off one of Simone’s fingers to keep Navid alive so that someone could observe him piloting the drone for just a few minutes before killing him just one hour later is absurd, especially since Margot putting a bullet in him only serves to show how cutthroat she is, a fact that she does not need to prove to anyone other than Navid. She certainly doesn’t need to intimidate her daughter, who still pledges allegiance to her despite the aforementioned severing. It seems futile to have killed him when they could easily have kept him alive and punished him for his repeated disobedience in some other way. It reminds me of how Jack tranquilized George Mason back in the pilot so many years ago, because he wouldn’t give up a source that Jack ended up not using at all after that. It was a quick humorous joke back then, but now it’s come to define the show. Though it’s far less outlandish, Navarro abandoning his post to go out into the field to track down one lead isn’t smart or sensible, and of course only Kate and Chloe are able to figure out what’s really going on while everyone else still thinks they know best. Jack has gone in just a few hours from public enemy number one to an ally permitted to be alone in a room close to the president, who managed to stay awfully conveniently coherent for the entirety of this episode.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 4 “2:00pm-3:00pm” (C+)

It sure is easy to get the President on the line, especially considering the fact that the administration supposedly doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. It does make sense that both Heller and Audrey would want to give Jack the benefit of the doubt and hear his side of the story since they used to be close with him. That said, the main flaw of this show was always that things happening in real time meant that completely absurd moments would be created, like the President calling a man who had just taken hostages directly within fifteen minutes of the beginning of his siege. I’m glad to see that Kate finally realizes that maybe Jack is up to some good and that she’s ready to help him, but I suspect that it’s going to be difficult for her to stay in Navarro’s good graces long enough to help him prove what’s going on. The impending threat is particularly worrisome due to the extreme methods of Margot Al-Harazi, who was willing to have her henchman cut off her daughter’s fingers to make her husband comply with the plan for him to pilot the drones. That she earned that fate after going to her mother to confess about the secret plan is even more unfortunate. I’m not sure how far that family drama will go, and, as with past seasons, I’d like to see this threat wrapped up and move on to something wholly different in the second half of the season, which is upon us in just a few weeks given this reboot’s shortened length.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 9, Episode 3 “Day 9: 1:00pm-2:00pm” (C+)

There were some decent moments in this episode, but it’s hard to find this some anything but frustrating. A few years into its initial run, and especially towards the tail end of that stretch, this because all about how Jack can do what no one else can, just as invincible as the mythical Chuck Norris. Only he can convince Chloe and her band of cyberterrorists to help him just by asking nicely (after some gun-pointing, of course) and only he can save the world by talking directly to a president he doesn’t realize is losing his memory. Kate, who can actually get things done and might as well be Jack’s heir apparent given her manipulative, law-breaking tendencies, is wasting so much time tailing Jack that it’s a wonder more terrorist attacks aren’t happening while she’s misdirecting her intrepid efforts. That said, the best moment of the episode was at the end when Jack shot off a few rounds to distract the crowd and Kate helplessly watched Jack run into the building. I’m finding everything involving Heller, Mark, and Audrey completely dull and cyclical, and the other family drama – that of the Al-Harazi family – is much less accessible and too removed to be compelling. Someone needs to find Lieutenant Chris Tanner fast and talk to him, and, as is to be expected with this show, I can’t imagine it will be anyone other than Jack. This season has twelve episodes – could it really take any less than eleven for Kate to realize that her best ally is the man she’s hunting?

What I’m Watching: 24 (Series Return)

24: Season 9, Episodes 1 and 2 “Day 9: 11:00am-12:00pm” and “Day 9: 12:00pm-1:00pm” (B-)

There are a number of shows recently that are being revived years after they ended and recommissioned for new episodes. In many cases, it’s hard to believe that this or that show is the one that netted enough attention to merit a revival. With this show, however, it’s different. By the time it went off the air back in 2010 after eight seasons and nearly two hundred hours, this show had burnt out most of its original energy and creativity. It was nonetheless a blast to watch, and it would be difficult to find anyone who didn’t find the notion of watching more “24” at least a little bit exciting. Set four years after Jack went on the run following his express act of treason, this show picks up in a world in which CTU is just a distant memory and Jack is a wanted fugitive. This show does like to keep its Presidents in the family, and therefore it’s former Secretary of Defense Heller’s turn in the Oval Office, though he happens to have a debilitating and continually worsening memory and mental state. Kim Raver’s Audrey is back too, this time with a new last name and a new husband, in the form of Tate Donovan’s Chief of Staff, who hates Jack with a fiery passion. The other returning faces are none other than Chloe O’Brian and our very own Jack Bauer.

Having Jack back on TV comes with the same stipulations and suspension of disbelief that was crucial to enjoying this show in the first place. Jack doesn’t even speak for most of the first episode, and it’s to be understood that as soon as he is in custody, much like Nina before him, nothing anyone can try to do to stop him can control or contain him. Contrary to popular belief, he does not possess superpowers, yet he certainly acts like he does. It was great fun to watch Jack overwhelm his escorts and look at the camera with that token look of his, and to see that Chloe was a prisoner in the Special Activities division and immediately understand what was going to happen next. But the fact that he managed to get into a secure facility and break his way out within minutes – an instance of this show’s real-time format working against its believability – is purely ridiculous. That only Yvonne Strahovski’s disgraced Kate Morgan can deduce what Jack is up to, and exactly that, for the record, is equally preposterous, especially considering her conveniently familiar story of not knowing that the person she loved was a spy. I don’t see how Jack is going to be able to convince anyone that he’s trying to save Heller’s life when everyone believes the opposite, but I guess that’s the point. Michelle Fairley from “Game of Thrones” seems like a formidable villain, and hacking drones to use against the very army that’s supposed to be controlling them is an intriguing storyline.

Basically, I know what to expect with this show, and most other people do too. Will it be completely over-the-top and unbelievable? Yes. Will it be a blast at the same time? I think so.

Saying Goodbye: The Top 24 Moments on “24”

FOX’s real-time thriller ticked out for the last time one week ago, but it’s never too early or too late to remember the good old days. Here are the top 24 moments on “24” according to TV with Abe. Are any of your favorites missing? Post your thoughts in the comments!

Listen to the 24 theme as you’re reading by clicking play below!


24. Day Three, 6AM-7AM
Chandler Plaza Hotel Chief of Security Craig Phillips discovers he has the virus, and is told by Michelle that he cannot call his wife.

23. Day One, 5AM-6AM
When Janet York is in the hospital, Alan York goes to visit her – but he’s not really Alan York, and “where’s my father” is the last thing she ever says.

22. Day Two, 10AM-11AM
Tony realizes too late that CTU is about to be bombed, and there’s nothing he or Jack can do as a good chunk of CTU blows up.

21. Day Three, 6AM-7AM
With no other alternative left, Jack is forced to listen to Saunders’ demands and execute Ryan Chappelle.

20. Day One, 4PM-5PM
A betrayed Elizabeth Nash loses control and stabs Alexis Drazen in the stomach with a letter opener.

19. Day Five, 6PM-7PM
As the conference room is sealed off to save those inside from the nerve gas, Edgar suddenly appears outside and calls out Chloe’s name as he is killed.

18. Day Two, 5PM-6PM
Just as it’s becoming clearer that Reza isn’t actually a terrorist, he gets shot in the chest – by his own fiancée, Marie Warner.

17. Day Three, 7PM-8PM
After Kim catches him keeping tabs on Jack’s location, Gaeta refuses to say anything, and Tony arrives to explain that Gaeta is actually a triple agent working with him and Jack.

16. Day Two, 10PM-11PM
As Jack is flying the plane with the bomb to his death, George Mason shows up in the back and takes his place, enabling Jack to stay alive.

15 & 14: Day Five, 7AM-8AM
This double whammy started the fifth season off strong before it derailed later. As he’s dictating and standing by the window, former President Palmer takes a fatal bullet to the neck. Immediately afterwards, Michelle and Tony are seen, living happily together away from CTU, but a massive explosion kills Michelle and puts Tony in the hospital. Three favorite characters killed off in just minutes.

13. Day One, 2PM-3PM
Jack walks into the conference room and finds a very intimidating and furious President Palmer waiting for him in their first-ever meeting.

12. Day One, 10PM-11PM
When Palmer is on the phone with Victor Drazen, Jack realizes that the phone is bomb and rushes to throw it out the window and save Palmer’s life.

11. Day One, 7AM-8AM
President Palmer is about to be assassinated in the middle of the breakfast, and Jack causes a diversion to save his life.

10. Day One, 11PM-12AM
As Victor Drazen is about to execute Jack at the docks, he runs out of bullets, prompting Jack to plug him full of bullets even after he’s already fallen into the water.

9. Day Four, 7AM-8AM
Secretary of Defense Heller and Audrey are taken hostage in one of the best surprise twists this show has ever executed.

8. Day One, 11AM-12PM
After Teri and Kim have gotten to safety, Rick gets shot but Jack refuses to leave him behind in one of the best in-the-action episode endings ever.

7. Day One, 11PM-12AM
Senator Palmer tells Sherry that he doesn’t want to be married to her anymore and walks out on her at the end of his very long day.

6. Day Two, 7AM-8AM
Mandy, the assassin from the pilot, pops up waving to Palmer and gives him something by shaking his hand. Palmer looks down at his hand and passes out as season two ticks out, leaving viewers unaware of whether he would live to see another day.

5. Day Two, 3PM-4PM
A prisoner of CTU, Nina learns crucial information from a terrorist and then slits his throat – with a credit card!

4. Day One, 10PM-11PM
At the very end of the penultimate episode of season one, it’s revealed that Nina, Jack’s most trusted ally, is the mole!

3. Day One, 11PM-12AM
Jack searches for Teri in CTU and comes across her body, prompting the only flashback ever on the show as Jack cradles her and the clock ticks out for season one.

2. Day 4, 1PM-2PM
Jack and Audrey have been cornered by terrorists and are out of bullets, but Tony arrives to save the day and ferry them to safety!

1. Day One, 1AM-2AM
Jack loses the first person close to him as Richard Walsh is gunned down and a teary Jack speeds away through more than one traffic light.

What I’m Watching: 24 (Series Finale)

I don’t really know what I was anticipating from the end of this long-running, once-great show. It’s completely lost sight of any sort of legitimacy, and I couldn’t have possibly expected redemption for it in its final hours. What we did get, of course, is two hours that sacrificed a number of lives and body parts for no real reason since the most powerful person in the United States confessed at the last minute anyway. Unlike something like “Lost,” this show doesn’t have hanging mysteries yearning to be answered, and as a result, the finale of just one season can’t wrap up the entire show in the same kind of way. Instead, Jack gets brought back from the edge by those he trusts (despite putting them to sleep via chokehold several moments beforehand) and ends up on the run, with considerably more incriminating and indefensible acts to his name than ever before. That’s hardly new territory for the show, but it might make for a decent premise for a TV movie where Jack gets the chance to be pardoned for all of his crimes. A good TV movie? I doubt that.

This season has pretty much been an inconsolable disaster, starting off at a somewhat okay point with a four-hour opener but immediately deteriorating into a mole-driven, stupidity-fueled exercise in preposterous twists and endless new ways of watching Jack torture people. The most inexcusable of plotlines is that of Dana Walsh, who started out as a pointless distraction comparable to Kim being menaced by a cougar and then somehow became a mole (I’ve written about this too much already, I have nothing more to say on this – go back and read previous episode reviews to remind yourself of why I’m appalled by that twist). Bringing back Logan wasn’t completely necessary, and this again becomes a season where characters that were crucial towards the beginning, like Rob Weiss, have been totally forgotten by season’s end. And don’t even get me started on the worst character ever to (not) appear on this show: the drone.

This final episode did showcase some impressive acting from the likes of Necar Zadegan as Dalia Hassan and Reed Diamond as Jason Pillar, but in both cases, they’re acting well above the material. And the quality of both performances and how hard they’re working make the futility of their existences even sadder. Dalia has to watch her husband get killed and then take over for him, only to find out that both of her fellow peace treaty signers are duplicitous. Jason has it much worse, since he manages to talk down Jack Bauer from shooting him in the head but still loses his ear and ultimately his life due to the cowardly nature of President Logan, who seems just as hell bent on revenge as Jack himself. The failed suicide of Logan and the impending resignation (or something to that effect) of Taylor is going to have such a negative effect on the country, and it’s a pity that Jack couldn’t see that and felt the need to stir up such a fuss. Interesting political commentary, you say? No. Rather, lazy storytelling and a desperate attempt to keep this show alive after eight seasons on the air.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts on this show, I’m of the opinion that the first year of this series is probably the best single season of television I’ve ever seen. To me, it wasn’t all about heart-pounding action and Jack torturing people, but instead about interesting characters and great episode-to-episode suspense. This show lost touch with that long ago as it became increasingly popular, and once Logan was revealed to be behind all of the terrorist acts of season five, the show never bounced back from its nadir. Bringing back Tony Almeida, who suffered an onscreen death that cannot be explained away by science, was another sign of the apocalypse. Seasons two, three, and four were all fun in their own respects but couldn’t possibly top season one. I’m preparing a list of the top 24 “24” moments for next week, and it shouldn’t come as a surprise that almost half of them are from season one. I’m not suggesting that this show shouldn’t have continued past its first season, but it’s really a good idea to have a legitimate premise for a new day before investing it in its production. And there really was no need for a President of the United States to be involved as a main character after Palmer was out of office. Much as he believe it, Jack isn’t Superman. The President is more important and more powerful.

The one thing I did like about the finale was the ticking out of the clock from three seconds left to zero. While that doesn’t prevent the inevitable TV movie from ever being created, it does seal off the show and say that, in the format that we know, this show is done. At least that’s a relief, and we can rest easy knowing that Jack Bauer’s story has come to a close, at least temporarily. What have I learned from this show? As reader JK knows, I can take comfort in the fact that if I ever get shot, as long as the bullet doesn’t hit any vital organs, I’ll have the stamina and the energy to bite someone’s ear off two minutes later. Thanks for that, 24. What has this show taught you? And what did you think of the finale? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Series finale grade: F
Season grade: F
Season MVP: Anil Kapoor as Omar Hassan
Series grade: C
Series grade (seasons one through four): A-
Series MVP: Kiefer Sutherland
Best season: Season 1
Best episode: “Day One: Midnight-1AM”

What I’m Watching: 24 (The Penultimate Episode)

24: Season 8, Episode 22 “1:00PM-2:00PM” (F)

Well, Jack Bauer has officially gone off his rocker. Watching this episode, it was hard to distinguish exactly how many people he actually killed versus those he merely wounded or gassed, but there definitely isn’t a happy ending in store for him. He has officially murdered government officials in cold blood and a shoot on sight order has been put out on him. Even if Chloe and Cole can work their magic, this man is going to prison for life if he doesn’t get killed first. You do have to give the guy some credit though, since he was able to put together a mission to singlehandedly kidnap a former President of the United States in under twenty minutes. Sadly, his skills won’t help his case in court. Moving on to less violent but infinitely more stupid characters, I really have to hope that Meredith Reed didn’t carry the evidence in her purse and was able to hide it somewhere else. That woman failed so incredibly at achieving her mission, and Jack would have been much better off giving it Jim and having him disseminate it virally, a la “Antitrust.” In the latest preposterous twist, why does the Russian President have to be directly involved in the conspiracy? Worse still, does he really have to admit it on an unsecured line? Don’t these big shots realize that cell phones can be tapped and tracked? Obama wasn’t even allowed to keep his Blackberry, so what are all these heads of state doing carrying around their own cell phones? Well, after next week this will all be over for good. Tune in Monday night from 8pm to 10pm for the final two hours of “24” ever.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 8, Episode 21 “12:00PM-1:00PM” (F)

I’m very much looking forward to all of this nonsense being done with once this show is over. It’s really at such an irreparable and irrecoverable point where there’s no hope of it achieving any quality for the rest of its run. I’m not addressing anything specifically but rather the show as a whole. Bringing Meredith Reed, a character who had some duplicitous, weird, unexplained connection to President Hassan, back into the plot of the show at this point feels a bit strange, but I suppose there needs to be something going on to keep Jack hungry for blood. Now that he’s spouting lines like “see you in hell,” he clearly has no regard for the life he’s living and he’ll on go on killing people until he’s done what he thinks he needs to do in order to exert justice. Cutting the SIM card out of the guy’s stomach after violently murdering him was even more extreme than most of the things he’s done before, and I have a strong feeling that it won’t be the craziest thing he does before the show goes off the air in less than two weeks. Regarding the revelation of the identity of the person who called the Russian Jack killed, haven’t we been here before, with Logan being behind everything? Is this a twist or just what we’ve known all along ever since Logan showed up? I can’t even sort it all out, and I really don’t think I want to. Another quick note to newbie Cole – it’s not a good idea to say to someone, “so you’re involved in the cover-up.” That usually leads to death. Watch your back, Cole.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 8, Episode 20 “11:00AM-12:00PM” (F)

This show gives its characters way too much credit. From Chloe presuming that Jack probably knew what she was going to do before she did it to Dana planting an explosive in her safe deposit box, these people being prepared for every possible scenario just doesn’t make any sense. I have a gripe with the show as a whole that I wanted to pick up on with this episode particularly – when President Taylor asked “is this true?” after being called out of a briefing to learn the latest news about Jack. Why would anyone bring her incorrect information? It’s just a stupid device, but it’s been used way too many times. Even though I’m not in love with Cherry Jones’ performance, I did enjoy her yelling at Logan to take her off speaker phone and then hanging up on him in the middle of the conversation. Sending in Logan’s lackey Jason Pillar does actually make more sense than putting Chloe in charge, but this is a scenario that has happened at least a dozen times: a new face in charge at CTU while the former person in command has to watch and often ends up calling Jack to provide with help. Much as Jack is still the hero of this story, Dana does raise a good point when she tells Cole that he isn’t just going to hand over the evidence and be done with it. Jack has gone over to the dark side, killing Dana in cold blood when she wasn’t even directly involved in anything. That murder is definitely going to haunt him, most likely in terms of the legal implications it will have once Jack finally finds a way to save the day and set things right.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 8, Episode 19 “10:00AM-11:00AM” (F)

Jack Bauer officially has the biggest ego in the entire universe. As usual, he can’t trust anyone, and he’s now the only one in the city who’s thinking clearly, according to him. He’s so smart that he can tell when Chloe is lying, and he knows that Cole will swear allegiance to him and take down someone or another. This version of the United States of America doesn’t need another President ousted from office. Over the course of this show, Keeler has been shot down, Logan has resigned, and former President Palmer was assassinated. President Taylor being impeached wouldn’t help anyone, and certainly wouldn’t do the United States’ standing in the world any favors. Back to our good friend Jack, his leaving CTU in a helicopter just to come back to extract Dana doesn’t seem like a highly expedient plan. Shouldn’t Chloe know just as well as President Taylor what Jack is capable of? She does succumb to pressure within a minute, but then there needs to be a twist: she’s actually trying to bring him in before he does something even stupider. It’s quite a surprise to see Michael Madsen, onetime star of “Reservoir Dogs” and now currently doing a million direct-to-DVD movies (he has a whopping 32 projects in production on IMDB). I’m much more excited about D.B. Sweeney (“Jericho”) as the head of the private security team currently water-boarding Dana, complete with a very villainous mustache. I must remind Jack that this isn’t a horror movie, and sending dead movies creepily on cranes through warehouses is inappropriate here.

On a side note, I never watch previews for the next episode of any shows because they give way too much away. For some reason, I opted to try it this time, and what a mistake. They give so much away – don’t watch if you plan to actually watch the next episode. With this show, I don’t care as much, but it’s still unfortunate to know what’s going to happen.

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 8, Episode 18 “9:00AM-10:00AM” (D-)

The grade for this episode is only slightly elevated from the past few because I’m sure it looked fantastic on paper. The ultimate standoff between the President of the United States and its most vigilant defender could potentially make for some great fodder for drama, but in this case, it hardly plays out well. Jack’s declaration of “I want justice” as followed up by the President coming back at him with “and I want peace” was pretty intense, but that was pretty much the most legitimate part of it. Jack stealing a helicopter is just the latest in a series of highly grandiose and fully unnecessary scenes designed to make him seem like a superhuman protagonist who can get out of any situation and turn it to his advantage, regardless of the strength of his opposition. The whole concept of the entire Russian government being behind the assassination of President Hassan is certainly far-fetched, and makes the story suffer as a result. Logan sure looked excited when he found out about the Russian representative’s decision, and the fact that he knew so much to begin with is just too preposterous. Chloe turning to Cole to make sure that Jack doesn’t go nuts on Dana is just plain stupid. I’m curious why everyone is so shocked about Renee being killed, like Dana and President Taylor. Why they care so much is puzzling, but in any case, doesn’t anyone transmit information anymore? They’re clearly monitoring CTU closely enough to track all of Hastings’ missteps, but not a murder?

What I’m Watching: 24

24: Season 8, Episode 17 “8:00AM-9:00AM” (F)

Forget about the fact that the director of CTU is relieved and replaced by the lowest-ranking, proven subordinate employee with absolutely no management or leadership experience at all (I suppose it’s only a little bit better than promoting the field agent whose wife has just been revealed to be a traitorous spy). Forget about the fact that the first thing that Jack does after failing to save the life of the leader of a country is go home and cool off after vowing never to give up on his commitment to the President and to his country. What I find most unbelievable about this episode is that, after not eating or drinking a thing for seven seasons, Jack is felled by thirst. He finally relaxes and makes a move on Renee, only to have her taken out by a gunshot less than a minute after he gets up to bring her a glass of water. This guy has the worst luck. He already walked in on a dead body thirty minutes earlier, and now he has to see the woman he cares about killed while he’s by the sink? That feels like overkill, even for this show. The return of Gregory Itzin as former President Charles Logan came out of nowhere, and is likely more borne out a desire to satisfy loyal viewers of the show with a fan favorite than any actual relevance he might have to the overarching plot. Appointing Hassan’s wife in his stead is a good idea, but I don’t see that playing out well at all.