What I’m Watching: Dirty Sexy Money (Series Finale)

Dirty Sexy Money: Season 2, Episode 13 “The Bad Guy” (C)

I found myself rolling my eyes constantly through the untimely finale of this always-ridiculous show. While this episode was never meant to serve as a closer for the entire series, it’s still a preposterously stupid installment in many ways, most notably its execution. Nick’s hospital bed storytelling sessions with Simon, and especially his inane comments about Simon needing to finish “telling him a story” later, were completely dumb. This show used the speaker-spinning-the-flashback-tale device only a few episodes ago with the Clark-led reporter interview episode, and while it may have been appropriate there, it’s certainly not here. It also offers little to no new information on Simon’s reasons for being such a ruthless jerk and holding anything he possibly could over the Lyons family. In a show with many preposterous characters, Nick George definitely wins the award for flimsiest character, who fluctuates from smart nice guy to angry, powerful, threatening lawyer, refusing to save Simon unless he backed off on Karen, something he never would have done. Karen’s pratfall down the stairs was completely staged, and simply an excuse to kill off an ailing plotline. Jeremy getting married to the random nurse employed by his family might have made sense before everything with Nola, but it just doesn’t add up. The new Jeremy would likely have followed Nola home in his private jet rather than moved on to the next girl. Patrick’s determination to win the senator’s wife is also a bit sporadic on his part, since he realizes that it will tank his career and he’s already done that enough with Carmelita. John Schneider’s character, always a bit out of place, seems to be truly confused about what he wants, since he tried to convey one thing last week and now has a completely separate agenda. Clearly he was always the jealous type, and therefore his entire ploy to get Patrick to sleep with his wife doesn’t really compute. Regarding the other Darling family members, at least Tripp has been relegated to minimal appearances in meetings with Nick and Simon because there’s nothing for him to do, but Brian and Leticia spend the whole episode redecorating Nick’s apartment? That feels like a “jump the shark” kind of moment. As fun as it is to see Brian holding a power drill and explaining the new apartment to Nick, shouldn’t he be doing something else? At least he’s staying true to his character – the most completely twisted and manipulated character besides Nick is definitely Lisa, who is so far above resorting to writing a tell-all expose about the Darlings just to make sure that she’s well taken care of. It’s so against her principles, and if she’s okay with selling out to get some cash, she should have no problem accepting the Darlings’ money to keep her and Keke afloat. And in case there weren’t enough ridiculous twists in this episode – there’s one last-minute shocker! Dutch isn’t dead! The whole premise behind this show is completely invalid, since the guy faked his death. Talk about ripping a hole right through the fabric of a show. There’s nowhere else to go for this show now, but I still feel that this represents a low point that would have launched into a not-so-hot second half of the season. This was certainly good fun, but with such a terrific cast and outrageous premise, it could have been so much better.

Season grade: B
Season MVP: Natalie Zea
Series grade: B
Series MVP: Natalie Zea