Round Two: Happy Town

Happy Town: Season 1, Episode 2 “I Came to Haplin for the Waters” (F)

A second go at this show confirms everything I thought last week. The font and accompanying music of the opening credits suggest that this really is a sequel series to “Eastwick,” which, as I stated last week, is the worst thing imaginable. The dialogue is so unbelievably horrendous, and I’m shocked by how incredibly classic movie quotes from “Casablanca” can be butchered when uttered by Lauren German and Sam Neill, by placing far too little and far too much emphasis on articulating them, respectively. While I thought that a pointless and unhelpful scene in “V” was the worst flashback of the week, I’ve proven wrong, as Chloe narrates that she knew the old lady was protective of the attic, but she never expected it to be….locked!!!! There’s absolutely no need for that line of dialogue, and certainly not for a flashback. Clearly this show is pandering to a rather unintelligent audience. It’s also intent on pegging its characters as dumb folk also. Tommy ripped into his old friend Big Dave, calling him a “stupid fat moron” and “a stupid pathetic idiot.” What kind of police work is that? I was appalled by the fact that he actually said things like that and this show is expected to be taken seriously. It’s hard to decide what was more lamentable: Tommy’s botched quoting of “Jaws” or the ridiculous hallucinations in the elevator complimented by the line “did you put something in my milk?” The reason I stuck around for a second installment, besides having the pleasure of relentlessly picking on a show I don’t like, is Frances Conroy. She’s great as usual, though this show obviously can’t give her anywhere near the kind of role she had on “Six Feet Under,” but at least it’s a step up, part-wise, from “Desperate Housewives.” Is anyone watching this show? Do you think week three will be even worse?