Pilot Review: Lipstick Jungle

Lipstick Jungle (NBC)
Premieres February 7 at 10pm

This is a show as bad as its title. Jungle noises spelled almost immediate doom for the ill-fated Denise Richards series “Sex, Love, and Secrets” a few years ago, and they do not work any better here. If the lunchroom jungle analogy in “Mean Girls” is an example of what to do, this is an example of what not to do. The story of three high-powered women is in almost every way unoriginal, and I have hardly seen anything as gratingly boring, and it gets less interesting by the minute. I never watched “Sex and the City”, but I feel like this show, which steals every song from a previous series, is probably quite the obvious rip-off (“Cashmere Mafia” is about on the same level. It is hard to decide which of the three leads is worst – Kim Raver (Audrey from “24”), Brooke Shields (not a big surprise), or Lindsay Price. Each of them fights so hard to stay firmly in control in their competitive and obstacle-plagued jobs, yet they are woefully unaware of and unprepared for their troubles in their personal lives. Men are completely ignored and women are the topic of discussion almost as much as on “The L Word”. Celebrity names are dropped frequently just to ensure that the women seem important. Maybe it is from watching too much “Entourage”, but the need for everyone in Shields’ production office to continually say Leonardo DiCaprio’s full name was incredibly annoying. Can’t they just call him Leonardo, or even Leo? This show features only a trio of leads, which makes for an awkward balance and I constantly found myself waiting to meet the fourth woman. Some shows have succeeded with only three main cast members, but taking a look at most successful series (“Desperate Housewives”, “Seinfeld”, “Sex and the City”, “Friends”), an even number seems to be the way to go.

How will it work as a series? The pilot covers far too much too quickly, and most of the plotlines could have been effectively stretched over a few episodes. With that said, there are a number of obstacles for each of the characters introduced at episode’s end which could make it interesting for all of ten minutes.
How long will it last? With the strike possibly ending now, it is impossible to judge how quickly programming will be left on the air. I do think this one will fail to pick up an audience and be swapped for “Law & Order” repeats after only a few weeks. If other new programming returns, this one is a goner for sure.

Pilot grade: F