Sunday, May 15, 2011

What Drew’s Watching: Bones

Guest blogger Drew catches up on the last few episodes of his beloved series in this mega-post. Enjoy!.

Bones: Season 6, Episode 18 “The Truth in the Myth”

This one starts out hilarious -- the dialogue is to die for. "I'm just a woman, looking for a man." I'm having a problem with Nigel Murray being allowed to continue his internship, considering his sundry addiction program memberships (and apparently drunkenness on the job?!). In fact, I'm getting rather tired of the interns in general. Oh my goodness -- Bones's laugh is one of the most horrible sounds I have ever heard. Has it always been like this? I'm getting bad vibes from this episode in general; it seems rather thrown together, and the dialogue is stilted. Of course, the dialogue was stilted in the introduction, but that's why it was funny. I didn't expect that to bleed into the actual episode. Money line from Angela today: "Of course you're going to belittle astrology. You're a Virgo." (Guess who else is a Virgo!) To sum up, this episode encapsulates everything that's bad about Bones: the humor is juvenile and eye-roll-worthy, and the "sentimental" parts are overdone and hokey. I got the mystery instantly. And the fact that the episode shut down 35 minutes in and forced me to waste a quarter of an hour jump-starting it just to confirm my ironclad prediction? Not helping.

Plot: 2/10
Action: 0/10
Characters: 5/10
Comedy: 3/10
Bones's Makeup: 9/10

Overall Grade: D

Bones: Season 6, Episode 19 “The Finder”

We've got a very "CSI: Miami"-type thing going on here. I wonder if Booth will bust out one of the Caruso quips that I so love. And the footage of the deceased pre-mortem strongly reminds me of Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park. These are two very good ways to ameliorate my tough-crowd-itis from the last episode. Oh man -- I'm getting so many impressions here. These kooks in the bar are calling up Pirates of the Caribbean, Big Trouble (the newer one, with Johnny Knoxville), and The Whole Nine Yards simultaneously. So far, we're in great shape. And next up is Boondock Saints, when the finder employs his peculiar method of finding (also an obvious sequence for the ladies, accompanied by your official MONTAGE WARNING). I can say right now that this episode is utterly ridiculous, and I am profoundly suspicious that a spin-off is in the works. But that's okay; "Bones" has gotten so stale of late that I don't mind the change of pace. This one's like having a day of clear skies after a lot of gloom. In fact, I'm going to forego the ratings system this time because the episode's so far outside the mainstream. I mean, I could try, but something's off. I just...*sunglasses*...can't put my finger on it.


Plot: X/10
Action: X/10
Characters: X/10
Comedy: X/10
Bones's Makeup: X/10

Overall Grade: :-D

Bones: Season 6, Episode 20 “The Pinocchio in the Planter”

Every new wrinkle between Angela and Hodgins seems forced to me. We can't just be happy with their circumstances, so bam! Blind baby. Bam! Hodgins is clingy. Bam! Angela is a lesbian. (Actually that happened a while ago.) That hookworms crawl a foot a day comes off as a poor indicator of time of death, as I'm pretty sure worms can change direction. I take great exception to Wendell taking exception to Hodgins's use of the word "couth," but it is in keeping with Wendell's character, so I can't throw big a fit. This episode veers toward ridiculous once they enter the honesty meeting, but I can forgive it because the belligerent clown is doing such a good job. To Angelodgins' credit, the mush factor is becoming much easier to bear. There are two hilarious give-and-takes around 31:00; make sure you don't miss them. It occurred to me immediately that traces of titanium don't require a solid titanium murder weapon, and here I am, vindicated. Seems like there are a lot of eyebrow-knitters in this one, like all these brilliant scientists discovering for the first time the detrimental effects of scalding honesty. And again! How on earth did the lawyer figure that he could get away with a fake x-ray? So really, this episode doesn't pass the smell-test plot-wise; it seems like the characters had to be uncharacteristically stupid in order to keep the gears turning. But it's a funny episode with some heartwarming moments, so I can't be too hard on it.

Plot: 3/10
Action: 2/10
Characters: 6/10
Comedy: 7/10
Bones's Makeup: 9/10 (Bones's makeup has been a lot better lately!)

Overall Grade: C+

Bones: Season 6, Episode 21 “The Signs in the Silence”

Okay, so we've got a deaf mute here who might have murdered someone with a huge knife -- and they have her unrestrained in the middle of the lab for questioning? Aaaaand there she goes, trying to escape. Looks like we're off to a bad start here. Fortunately there's some plot interest to make up for these scientists' stupid decisions. It only just occurred to me that Cam looks like an alien with that short hair. The concept of dialects in sign language is cool, and it's smart writing to get the girl to cooperate via explaining the infallibility of bones (although I'm not sure exactly how true that is). In spite of its rough start, this is actually a very good episode -- moving in all the right places, with credible performances by all the characters (including Bones, amazingly enough). Even the montage is well-placed and artfully done. (Postscript: Angela's "I'm fat because I'm pregnant" jokes at the end of the episode are fully responsible for the sorely lacking comedy score.)

Plot: 10/10
Action: 6/10
Characters: 9/10
Comedy: 5/10
Bones's Makeup: 9/10

Overall Grade: A-

Bones: Season 6, Episode 22 "The Hole in the Heart"

The good news: any reference to Tyrannosaurus Rex is awesome. The bad news: Bones is a true-blue psycho when she laughs. My face starts contorting in a grotesque mix of shock and disgust every time I hear it. Unless I'm sorely mistaken, Hodgins calls our species (yours, dear reader, and mine) homo sapien, which is unsettling indeed -- especially considering he's reading Bones's and Nigel Murray's abstract. I have to issue an official MONTAGE WARNING complete with a less official weird-sounding lyrics warning (where do they find these people?) early on. It's nice to finally see some concrete action in a Bones episode again, but at what a cost! On the other hand, I really don't like this goofy neophyte FBI agent. She's flat and monotonous, and I'm not really sure why she's being introduced now. Best line today comes from Hodgins on the phone: "You hung up, didn't you? Yeah? Okay." Very natural delivery! Sniper fights ("dueling snipers," as Hodgins calls it) always seem awkward to me -- the last one I saw was between Snake and The End -- but they do a good job of making this one compelling. It's tough to review this episode without spoilers, so I'll do what I can to make a good case to watch it: one of the good guys dies.

Plot: 9/10
Action: 10/10
Characters: 8/10
Comedy: 3/10
Bones's Makeup: 7/10

Overall Grade: A

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